Funny love quotes can be a great way to make your partner laugh, raise self-awareness, or lighten the mood. These entertaining quotations and sayings can give a view on how its author has approached affection and desire with humor or how they observe the environment around them. Memorizing hilarious quotations be an excellent way to give advice or lighten a tense mood in the room. Below, you will find some great funny quotes about love.
Funny Love Quotes
- “Falling out of love is chiefly a matter of forgetting how charming someone is.” -Iris Murdoch – funny love quotes
- “No woman ever shot her man while he was doing dishes.”
- “Familiarity breeds contemptâ€” and children.” -Mark Twain
- “A touch of scorn can be oh so alluring.”
- “Marriage is a great institution, but I am not ready for an institution.” -Mae West
- “At the smallest tingling of passion, every man is suddenly a poet.”
- “If they knew what we were thinking all the time, women would never cease slapping us.” – funny love quotes
- “In this day and age, the honeymoon is far more rehearsed than the actual wedding.”
- “Marriage is based on established rules of compromise: the husband always admits to being wrong and the wife forgives him.” -Anonymous
- “A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.” -Brendan Francis – funny i love you quotes for him
- “I hope Love isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it.” -Anonymous
- “A relationship is so unlike theory.” -Anonymous
- “Ardor doesn’t imitate great art, it imitates bad television.”- Anonymous
- “A man should control his passions. Mine is controlling me.” -Anonymous
- “Don’t fall for anyone–unless they are willing to catch you.” -Anonymous
- “Passion is like a beautiful song–only the lyrics are all screwed up.” -Anonymous – funny love quotes
- “Absence sharpens desire, presence strengthens it.” -Benjamin Franklin
- “I have great hopes that we shall greatly appreciate each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all.” -Lord Byron
- “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” -Anonymous
- “If you’re not willing to sound stupid, you’re not worthy of falling in love.”
- “No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.” -Anonymous – funny love quotes
- “A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” -Ingrid Bergman – funny quotes with pictures about love
- “True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.” -La Rochefoucauld
- “There is no remedy for love but to love more.” -Thoreau
- “To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best.” -William M. Thackeray
- “Love is hugging. Love is kissing. Love is saying no sometimes.”-Anonymous
Funny Quotes About Love
- To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia – to mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess. -H. L. Mencken
- Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this
is not difficult.~ Charlotte Whitton
- Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. -Unknown
- Love is not the opposite of hate. Love and hate are very similar emotions. Like a faucet with hot and cold handles, both temperatures of water come out of the same faucet. The opposite of love is indifference. Like a faucet with no water coming out. ~ Dave Berg
- Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home. –Rodney Dangerfield
- Many a young lady does not realize just how strong her desire for a young man is until he fails to pass the approval test with her parents. ~ Unknown
- I’d marry again if I found a man Who had 15 million dollars And would sign over half of it to me Before the marriage and… Guarantees he’d be dead within a year! -Bette Davis
- My true darling hath my heart, and I have him, By just exchange, one for the other giv’n: I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss; There never was a better bargain driven. -Sir Philip Sydney – funny love quotes
- Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. – By Samuel Johnson
- “One should always be passionate. That is the reason one should never marry. ”
- There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. -George Sand
Funny Love Quotes for Him
- To cast aside someone’s love is giving up something for nothing.
- Marriage is great because it humbles us to realize that no one else would probably put up with our behavior.
- A lover is like your bedsheets, the more often changed, the better.
- I am not sure if I want you, despise you, or both.
- Men should nod in agreement rather than open their mouths to express their opinion.
- You can marry almost any gentleman you desire, so long as you repeat the magic sentence, “You are terrific.” – funny love quotes
- Every marriage can be perfect until you stop trying.
- Some people never find greater love than narcissism.
Funny Love Quotes for Her
- When I finally met Mr. Right, I had no idea that his first name was Always. ~ Rita Rudner
- Love is too pure a light to burn long among the noisome gases that we breathe, but before it is choked out we may use it as a torch to ignite the cozy fire of affection. ~ Jerome K Jerome – funny I love you quotes for him
- With my wife, I don’t get any respect. I made a toast on her birthday to the best woman a man ever had. The waiter joined me. –Rodney Dangerfield
- Passion is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. ~ Jules Renard
- If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent Is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee
- O, woman! lovely woman! Nature made thee
To temper man: we had been brutes without you.
Angels are painted fair, to look like you:
There’s in you all that we believe of heaven, Amazing brightness, purity, and truth,
Eternal joy, and everlasting love.
-Thomas Otway – funny love quotes
- You can’t put a price tag on desire, but you can all it’s accessories. – Melanie Clark
- “Age does not protect you from love but love to some extent protects you from age. ”
- ‘Just for the hell of it, try to appreciate someone as unlike you as possible.’ -William T Vollman – funny I love you more than quotes
- A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition. -William Arthur Ward
Funny I Love You Quotes
- He had these polyester fitted sheets on the bed, but I desired cotton sheets. So, he discusses the possibility with his shrink several times before agreeing to the change.
- My recommendations to people that are about to get married are simply this: don’t.
- Women, just like music, should never, ever be dated.
- We have a secret to our good relationship, and it is this: we never see each other anymore. – funny love quotes
- Desire built on beauty soon crumbles as soon as beauty withers.
- My true darling hath my heart, and I have his,
- Some say that beauty is truth. If that were true, why don’t women go to the library to have their nails done? – funny I love you quotes for him
- I love her dearly but our neuroses are simply not compatible.
- Dating is a social activity with the very real threat of [email protected] at the end.
- Desire without forgiveness is like a ham sandwich without the ham.
- Wooing? It is just too exhausting for me.
- Confident men were born to fib, and women were born to believe them.
- Nothing such as desire makes one say something completely different from what one has in one’s mind. – funny love quotes
- At the edge of being satisfied, our desires still appear to be unending.
- I don’t want to hate you, but you make it terribly hard not to.
- Marriage is the defeat of reason by hope. A 2nd marriage is the defeat of experience by desperation. – funny quotes about love
- The best happiness that life has to offer is to be appreciated and to appreciate.
- Passionate desire is like chickenpox. The older you are, the worse the affliction.
- It’s not that I am particular, it’s just that I am going to wait for Dr. Right.
- Strong hate succeeds in a strong desire.
- Given that grass can grow through the asphalt, ardor might strike at any moment of one’s life. – funny I love you quotes for him
- Every couple would act very differently if they lived in a sunny, temperate climate all year-round.
- The happiest of marriages would be between a blind woman and a deaf man.
- A little bit of incompatibility is a good thing, especially if she comes from a wealthy family and is good-tempered. – funny love quotes
- Truthfulness is love? What a ridiculous idea.
- Your idea of fidelity is not having more than one man in bed at the same time. Fredric Raphael
- Don’t say, “I love you,” if you might issue a retraction at some point.
- I wanted to marry her when I saw the moonlight shining on the barrel of her father’s shotgun. -Eddie Albert
- Nothing cools passion so much as criticism.
- Beware the men bearing gifts.
- Marriage is the grave or tomb of wit. Margaret Cavendish
- Bigamy is the practice of having too many husbands. And in reality, monogamy is no different. – funny love quotes
- Women desire rakish men. However, some make the mistake of marrying and trying to make them wear a tie. – funny quotes with pictures about love
- Being a decent husband is a full-time job. No wonder so many men fail.
- A husband is what remains once the passion has been extracted from him.
- Uninterrupted closeness is fine but only for conjoined twins. – I love you like funny quotes
- He’s a fool that marries, but he’s greater that does not marry a fool. William Wycherley
- My wife is the most fantastic woman on the entire planet. And that is not just my opinion, that’s hers.
- I don’t think we are a good match. You and I are too much alike, and never like myself to begin with. – funny quotes about love
- God is love—I dare say. But what a mischievous devil love is! -Samuel Butler
- We’re so tired of fighting that we just go to sleep rather than disagree.
- I don’t want to live—I want passion first, and live incidentally. Zelda Fitzgerald.
- There are successful marriages but no wonderful marriages.
- Women are much more pleasant than men. Perhaps, that is why we like women so much better. – funny love quotes
- Men can do the most horrible of things, and women will still think of them as angels.
- Lovers never get tired of each other, because they are always talking about themselves. -Duc de la Rochefoucauld
Quotes About Love
- “If Jack is in love, he’s no judge of Jill’s beauty.” -Benjamin Franklin
- “People fall into love, but they have to climb out.” -Ernest Hemingway
- “Only little boys and old men sneer at love.” -Louis Auchincloss
- “People who are sensible about love are incapable of it.” -Douglas Yates
- “Desire is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.” – Cathy Carlyle – funny quotes with pictures about love
- “Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it.” -George Carlin
- “Certain people compare their passion to a delicate rose. I like to think of our relationship as a reliable workhorse–going strong every day. – funny quotes about love
- “Some folks ask me why I have such affection for you. I tell them that you don’t ask pesky and invasive questions like some folks. – funny love quotes
- “Appreciation is kindness and patience–even when you forget to put the toilet seat down.
- “Hey, I can be romantic with you. You just need to give me much better motivation.